As I started writing this piece, I realized these weren’t only tips for the holiday season but for fall in general. In talking with my friends, moms or otherwise, we realized that once fall starts all the madness begins. It’s back to school, the beginning of activities for our kids, and countless events in the community. And then it’s Halloween and Thanksgiving and all of the December holiday festivities, not to mention birthdays and everything else in between. Ahhh! It’s enough to make you want to crawl back in bed and stay there. But who has time for that?!
As women we hear constantly how we need to take more time out for ourselves, but as we all know it’s easier said than done. I struggle with feelings of guilt or the idea that I should be tending to my never-ending to-do list and crossing more things off. Or if I have free time unexpectedly, it should always be spent with my girls, who I love more than anything in this world. But then I realize that taking some time for myself is okay, and makes me a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, employee, and friend.
When I’m given the time to recharge, I’m not only better for myself but for all those who depend on me. Don’t get me wrong, I need to remind myself of that often. But instead of only reminding myself, I thought I could remind you as well. And share four self-care tips that I hope we will all find useful!
When I look at this quote I can’t stop hearing this song in my head…
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.
As is often the case these days, when I’m contemplating how I want handle something moving forward or how I want to continue wholeheartedly on this journey of personal growth, I often think of my two daughters.
With this popular song especially, I find myself singing to it and with it, despite the fact that I’m most definitely tone deaf. The idea of letting your inner light shine is something I so badly want to instill in my daughters, not only by telling them how important that unique part of them is, but by showing them as well—by example.
Family is extremely important to me. My daughters and husband are my world. I can’t go long periods of time without seeing my parents and my sister and her husband—let alone a day without talking to them. And for my closest friends (i.e. my second family) I tell them often how much they mean to me. Essentially, I smother people with my love.
My sister Puja and I have always been very close. From the day I was born, she took it upon herself to love me and protect me. Even at four years old, she was trying to give me bottles and cover me up with blankets to keep me warm. Despite our four-year age difference, my mom dressed us alike (a bad habit I have also adopted with my daughters), and as we grew up we chose to share a room even when we didn’t have to. Of course, I played the annoying little sister role well, but despite her irritation with me, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would always be there for me. After college I moved in with her in Chicago, and she continued to be my best friend, protector, and closest confidante.
When I decided to make the leap to move from Chicago to LA, it was a tough decision. Leaving my sister was hard to do, but I figured she and her fiancé needed some alone time, instead of me tagging along on every date. Soon after I left, my sister got into a very bad car accident, resulting in a herniated disc in her neck and a piece of her spine dislodging. After much suffering, several injuries, and a quest to find answers, she was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. She’s written an incredible series about her experiences on Huffington Post, so if you don’t know much about this medical condition, I definitely recommend clicking over to read it.
Even if you don’t know someone with Fibromyalgia, it’s highly likely you know someone with chronic pain. One in three people in the US suffer from chronic pain, and it can be debilitating (source). I refer to it as the invisible disease because in so many cases you can’t see the symptoms, so people suffer in silence. It’s beyond frustrating to me when people think that those with Fibromyalgia or other chronic pain conditions can control their pain and it’s no big deal. These people are in intense pain every single day. Yes there are days when it is less intense than others, but they never go a full day without life-altering pain. A lot about Fibromyalgia and other chronic pain conditions is still unknown, but every year there is more literature and education, and the dedicated rheumatologists and brave patients help us all learn more.
I’m ashamed to admit that for a long time I didn’t truly understand my sister’s disease either. I attribute some of that to her not sharing a lot of this journey with me, but I soon came to realize that she really couldn’t until she got to a certain point. And I attribute most of that to my lack of education and understanding.
But just like in other areas of my life, once I dug in and started doing my research, I realized that there are ways we can help our loved ones just by being there and understanding. So below are four ways I’ve learned to be more supportive of my loved one with chronic pain.
This is likely not the first or last time you’ll see me write about how supporting and empowering women is a priority to me. Whether it’s through my work here on Model Behaviors, philanthropic or female based projects and events, or just being there for the women closest to me in life, it’s something I think about often. The older I get the stronger this desire becomes. Couple this with the fact that I have two very young daughters and some days the feeling is overpowering. Which brings me to Mahila.
Early last year a group of five women in Dallas (including me) came together to start Mahila. Mahila means “woman” in Hindi. As we say on our website, to us Mahila at its core is an organization created by women for women. We all felt a strong desire to work together to further the cause of women, and therefore decided we would form a group with this purpose in mind. For our inaugural event we’re partnering with Milaap USA.
This month we’re doing the Mommy Makeover Contest here at Model Behaviors and I’m the Accountability Adviser for our participants and our Comeback Circle (for more info, click here). That coupled with my theme word, evolution, has put a strong focus on accountability—how I handle it, and what tools I can recommend for your journey.
In last week’s Wellness Wednesday post, I talked about how important an accountability partner (AP) is and that in lieu of a real live person there are a plethora of apps that can help as well! You all know how much I love my research, so I wanted to try and summarize what I found in the world of accountability apps.
