I have long heard people—mostly women—lament that there are just not enough hours in the day, and it has only been in recent years that I have finally discovered the truth in that expression. You see, I’m a list-maker. A planner. A to-doer. And my list perpetually has twice as many items as the day has hours.
It’s taken me years to come to terms with the fact that things won’t always fit into my plan and that there will likely never be a day that I’m able to tick off every item on my list. I ask myself, when did I take on so many roles, accumulate so many hats, rack up so many responsibilities? Admittedly, there are moments when I think it’s all too much, but I’m quickly reminded of the times I wished for this very life.
I can vividly remember a stretch when I ached for a plan but was terrified to settle on just one path. I bounced around from UCLA to the University of Texas, unable to commit myself to one city or area of study. Ultimately I graduated with degrees in both linguistics and German. My incessant itch for something and someplace new took me to Chicago where I started a career in event planning. I look back on my time in the Windy City with such fondness—an amazing job, a chance meeting with the man I would end up marrying, a taste of downtown living and a lot of baseball games. Still, all of that wasn’t enough to keep me planted. I ended up back in Texas with what I thought was finally my perfect plan.
Kids and motherhood. That was my plan, and that was the beginning of my awakening.
An unforeseen struggle with pregnancy, miscarriage, infertility and the resultant psychological damage rocked my world and stole some of the happiest years in my young marriage. A blurry haze still hangs over my memory of those days, which is probably for the best, but what I recall most is the promise I made to myself and to my husband that one way or the other, this would change me for the better. Skip a few chapters, and here we are with two beautiful babies, each a miracle in their own way. And yes, I did keep my promise.
From the second my first child was born, I could feel a shift. I was stronger and more confident. For the first time I didn’t feel like I needed to change directions the instant I checked an item—motherhood—off my list. Instead, I wanted to add a direction. I wanted to weave more strands into my life. At long last, I was able to see all of my wandering and wondering as a blessing rather than a flaw. What fortune to have dabbled in many different industries, learned various skills, and met people all over the country, and what an advantageous position I was now in to have all of those tools and experiences to pull from. I decided to pick a pursuit and go, finally knowing that it didn’t have to be my sole endeavor.
Skip a few more chapters, and I’m still weaving as many strands as I can. Family, children, housework, fitness, learning, blogging, crafting, DIYing. I have stopped seeking one traditional career path and have rather accepted and embraced (and happily celebrated!) that I don’t have to fit that mold. Medical transcription is my steady “pay-the-bills” job, but I’m also the founder and creator of TED FOX Event Artistry, a full-service special events firm. This affords me the unique ability to use my passion for creating beautiful things as a way of life rather than simply a hobby. I still struggle daily with finding a balance between so many dimensions, but I have learned that leaving some of those boxes unchecked each day is in fact, okay.
I’m thrilled to be on the Model Behaviors team, and I’m hoping to get a glimpse into the lives and minds of so many other women who’re united in the quest to live the life they dream of.
Holly
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