Who knew I would become a lifestyle transformation coach for a living? Years ago, when I was living as Miserable Marzia, I would’ve never imagined it. But I know from firsthand experience that change is always possible!
Watching the fireworks shows this past Fourth of July, I realized in life, we meet people who bring out the best in us. When we’re around them, we burst and shine bright like a spectacular fireworks display. But then there are people who bring out the opposite. Around them, we are like a dud firecracker. We sparkle for a moment, but ultimately nada. We want to light on fire but no sparks fly. It took me a long time to understand that I could catch on fire from other people’s positive energy and shine bright into the universe.
There’s a lyric by one of my favorite artists, Laura Marling. I first heard it when I was about twenty-one or twenty-two, and I didn’t really know how to interpret it. The lyric goes…
I need shine, I need shine, I need shine. Step away from my light. I need shine.
Ever since Joanna told me she’d like to choose “shine” as our Word of the Month for August, this song has been stuck in my head, this line in particular. It definitely has meaning for me after a year of unprecedented mass shootings and terrible acts of violence all over the world.
In an effort to live life to the fullest and always strive in the direction my heart takes me, I’ve created a bucket list. And being the list cheater that I am, I’ve written some down that can already be scratched off the list…
Y’all. I have a confession to make. It’s deep. It’s dark. It’s something I never thought I would admit to the public. But here goes.
A couple weeks ago, I watched an episode of The Bachelorette. If that wasn’t shocking enough, I took it one step further and I liked it. I’ve watched every episode so far this season, so I guess you could say I’m officially hooked.
You may be thinking, “Gasp! Courtney, no!” Believe me. I still kind of think that about myself. The whole idea behind The Bachelor and The Bachelorette used to make me queasy (okay, it still does). One dude with two dozen ladies all vying for his attention? It puts my feminist bristles up just thinking about it. But then they had to go and reverse it so that there was one lady with two dozen guys vying for her attention. Equality, right? Wrong! Basically, the dudes have to prove their “manliness” by doing macho things like saving the Bachelorette (this season the bachelorette is a woman named JoJo) from a burning building or playing a game of flag football (which included tackling) to determine who gets to go on a date with her.
I can’t count the number of times the guys have threatened to pummel each other or called each other “little bitch” or engaged in some other chauvinistic thing when they feel like their territory with JoJo has been crossed. Let’s also keep in mind that there were literally four men of color out of twenty-six contestants. I looked through photos of them to verify this number, and it turns out that one of the black men was practically cut out of the first episode and never seen of or heard from again.
I’ve been watching the show with my friend, Kolbe (whom you may remember from this post where she shared five tips for beginning runners), and when a message came on the screen about casting calls in Dallas, I jokingly said, “You want to audition?” She said, “I won’t make it.” And when I asked why, she said, “Because they only pick white people.” Yikes.
“I didn’t even know Mexicans were that smart.” — Emily Austen
A few weeks ago, like many of you, I saw Fox Sports reporter Emily Austen “trying to be funny” on a Facebook Live video while appearing on the broadcast of “The Rundown” on Barstool Sports. With the recent influx of live videos on Facebook, novice handlers have been caught with their mouths open and pants down. In Austen’s case, her off-color remarks about Mexican immigrants, Chinese students, the Jewish community, and NBA player Kevin Love cost her a career. Like a bad scary movie, I watched in horror as she made one bad decision after the next. And like most actors in bad scary movies, it might be a long time before Austen appears on-camera again—if ever.
It’s safe to say that Fox Sports did what they had to do and parted ways with Austen immediately. I tried to do the same, but I kept hearing her words in my head—I didn’t even know Mexicans were that smart.
Through my experiences coaching women for the last two years, I’ve grown accustomed to spotting limiting beliefs. We all have them, and sometimes they’re a part of our daily dialogue. Insomuch as we become immune to the way they sound. They’re ingrained in us, but they weren’t always there, I remind my clients (and myself).
