Sex with your ex? We tackle this dilemma and more.
Dear Toni,
I just found out that my ex is dating one of my employees. It was a very messy break-up, and now it has infiltrated my once-happy work environment. My desire to sit this employee down and tell her all about my troublesome ex is at odds with my need to keep my professional distance.
How should I approach this?
CRS
Dear CRS,
How should you approach this? You shouldn’t! Unfortunately, some men are like having an itchy, lingering, embarrassing STD. In this case, consider yourself immunized.
And remember, one woman’s nightmare can be another woman’s dream come true. Things will always work out the way they’re supposed to, with or without your helping hand.
Toni
Dear Toni,
My boyfriend recently broke up with me, saying he thought we’d be “better off as friends.” Though we were good friends, we also had great sex! It was so great, in fact, that he wants to continue hooking up until we move on to different relationships. This probably isn’t the best idea, but I still care for him, and
I’m too busy to pursue dating again.
Do you believe in win-win scenarios?
GG
Dear GG,
To answer your question, no. That is, not unless we’re talking about soccer.
Off the field, there always has to be a tie-breaker decision. The truth is, he’s likely sleeping with someone else and he just hasn’t figured out which one of you he likes better. Someone’s going to get hurt in this scenario, and I venture to say, it’s you!
Toni
Dear Toni,
I’m in an amazing relationship, and it seems like we might be getting engaged soon. According to my boyfriend, however, there’s someone standing in our way — my ex. We broke up five years ago, but my current man doesn’t like how often I talk to my ex, or the fact that I’m still close to his family.
I want to support my boyfriend, but I also don’t want to lose my friend. What should I do?
MH
Dear MH,
First, you need to ask yourself if you’re really going to marry this guy. If not, you don’t want to end a friendship with your ex, only to crawl back six months later and ask for forgiveness.
With that said, there are very few men out there that are secure enough to be around a man who has had sex with his girlfriend or wife. I know that can be a confusing perspective, since women are the opposite (we’re more threatened by the women who haven’t slept with our man). Nevertheless, if this is your future husband, then it’s time for a clean break. And like a broken bone, if the split isn’t clean, it’ll cause problems in the future.
Toni
Written for DFW Style Daily
